i may or may not be watching the land before time
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
