what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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