I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Less talking, more tequila
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
