Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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