At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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