Having a random hookup so left but love u
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
