It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
