My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
porn star boner night. come get it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
