oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
