But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
