I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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