Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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