I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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