Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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