Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
