Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Is it because I queefed?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
