Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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