Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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