just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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