he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
