New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
