Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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