Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
