Who did Billy Mays play for?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
