Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
