So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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