Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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