Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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