He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
