I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
