In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
