If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
