i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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