I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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