I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
