She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
