All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
