I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
