turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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