Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
