I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
