That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
