Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
