dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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