I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
soo... how was my night?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
