No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i came on her dog
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
