Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
