Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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