once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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