The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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