Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
