His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
