She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I understand Curling. That high.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
