Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize