I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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