Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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