we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
