all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
3 2 1 whiskey
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
