Its about making memories worth repressing
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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