my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
