Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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