Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
