left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
