We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
